Thursday, April 10, 2008

Triple Deke




I will not apologize for the fact that I'm a big time sucker for inspirational-type Disney sports movies, and The Mighty Ducks are at the top of the list (better luck next time, Big Green and Little Giants fans - chumps!). Who can't identify with a selfish high priced Minneapolis lawyer who turns it around with the help of the future Pacey and a fat Jewish goalie? I'm sure you see that at least three times waiting to check out at Sears at the Mall of America.

Really, there's no reason for this movie to be made, let alone be somewhat passable. But it does fulfill the rule of any team sports movie - any protagonistic team has to be really bad (I mean, worse than expansion team bad, like put on your uniform backwards bad), then come back from awful to a championship, or at least championship's front porch. You want a list? "It Happens Every Spring", "The Kid from Left Field" (original and NBC TV movie version with Gary Coleman, Robert Guillaume, Gary Collins and Ed McMahon - remind me to come back to this one some day), "The Bad News Bears", "Angels in the Outfield", "Rookie of the Year", .... that's just baseball; I'll go on all day, bee-yotch. My point is, the sporty movies almost always go this route. Personally, I'd be refreshed if someone focused on the .500 team and went through their win one - lose one struggles. No, it wouldn't be terribly interesting, but it would still be refreshing. Like Sprite Zero.

But you know what sports movie doesn't play this game - D2: The Mighty Ducks . They make and break their own rules. They're not the underdogs, they're a favorite. They implausibly insert new characters. Hey, it's the broad who's on "Law & Order: Criminal Intent"! It's the fat black kid who's now on "Saturday Night Live" who might be kinda funny but they never really let him do any heavy lifting! And wow, they get a really good national-level goalie (and she's a chick!) but they still put the fat Jewish kid from Minnesota who sorta sucks betwixt the pipes! It's the movie that really holds up to multiple viewings. So when I need an NHL game to start my parlay, I gotta go with the team inspired by the movie, the Anaheim Ducks, nee the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. For that, and because they're like the defending Stanley Cup champions. But really the movie.

1. Anaheim Ducks (NHL) (-170)

2. Dallas Mavericks (NBA) -4-1/2 (-110)
This goes a little back to my earlier point - no one makes movies about the middle of the pack teams. Sure, the race for the last 2 spots in the WC playoffs are exciting, but really it's not much to write home about. I really liked the win Sunday over Phoenix, and they're on a nice little roll. I think the Mavs turn it on tonight so they can relax a hair over the next week plus. Also, the Jazz got their big road win this week, thank you, they'll just take the rest home in a doggy bag. And Memo Okur has to show that he is not a you-can-count-on-me-for-20-and-10-guy, but he's just a big Turkish guy who will go 1-5 from the land of threes and who probably smells in that Eastern European type of way.

3. Kansas City Royals (MLB) (+133)
KC's doing their "Hey, it's April, we can compete too, lookit ma, lookit!" schtick. God bless 'em, they're so cute at this age. Eventually, they'll have to go to bed and Mommy and Daddy can break out the good Scotch, but I think the Royals get to play for just a little more. Plus, I'm not really feeling Andy Pettite just yet. Gees, you would have thought he had a chance to relax all off-season and be refreshed for '08.

Units to wager: 1
Units to win: 6.06
Result: Loss
Units +/- to date: -2
--Doneycat

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