Money shot

Now's as good a night to try as any, the money-wasting, bookmark-making, multigame NBA/NHL parlay that will crap out but give the chance to dream:

Philadelphia +9-1/2 (-110)
Utah +1-1/2 (-110)
Utah under 182 (-110)
New Orleans -7 (-110)
New Orleans over 195 (-110)
Phoenix +5 (-105)
Pittsburgh Penguins (+125)
Dallas Stars (-135)

Units: 1
Units to win: 100.58
Result: Epic Fail!
Units +/- to date: 35.41

Girl I'll House You

After a long and almost pointless absence, "House" is back on Fox tonight. So Dr. Gregory House will be back doing good things in New Jersey, just like Vince Carter after Jason Kidd was traded, only more people will care, less people will be disappointed, and there is a chance at a post-season award.

You never really know where a good House episode will go - you think you know how he will react, then he'll turn in a completely different direction, meanwhile being kind of a kick the whole way - just like LeBron! Like LeBron, everyone is playing off of the star. And the supporting cast is good enough but not great enough to play with. Personally, I think "House" is better comparatively than the Cleveland Cavaliers, but color me surprised by both. No way I would have thought House would be one of the most popular shows on Fox 3-1/2 years ago.

This year's NBA first round is much like an episode of "House". Some games/episodes, the answers are all there, you just need to go with your gut and attack what you think is the right answer. Of course Utah would win games 1 and 2 in Houston since they were without Rafer Alston and Tracy McGrady hasn't downloaded his fourth quarter service pack from the internet. But then your gut instincts are thrown for a loop and the answer is so obscure that you would have never guessed it in a million years, like an enveloped twin or the Hawks showing backbone and not getting swept. Anyway, it's been a mildly intriguing round 1, setting up for some real doozies in round 2.

Speedy NBA Parlay:

I could have sworn that the Celtics would put the Hawks away on Saturday night. Quel suprise. Everything - emphasis on everything - points to the Celtics putting the young Hawks back into place tonight. But for some reason, I really like the points tonight. You would think that Boston would like to make a statement, but this is the Eastern quarters, not the Eastern finals. I'm taking Atlanta +9-1/2 (-110), but everything I know from watching these Hawks the last few years leads me to one point. Whenever they would get on a good run, like winning 3, 4, or 5 in a row (which wasn't often), they would turn around completely phone in a game to start a tailspin losing streak. Whenever they accomplished something, however small, they would get all uppity and not do the things that got them going in the first place. I think that's what they call "bad coaching" or something to that affect. After all the back patting after game 3, it could very well happen tonight, but I'm banking on it happening in game 5 back in Boston - in a huge way.

Wow, how many possible ways can the Nuggets be done. I say 24. Maybe 16. Or even 10. Probably not 28, but you never know. If Denver keeps it within 6 (Lakers -5, -110) consider this a moral victory and plan how next year you can win 48 games and be in the exact same spot next year.

And remember, it's never lupus.

Units: 1

Units to win: 2.64

Result: Winner!

Units +/- to date: 31.77

Oh. Canada?

Another quick shot today, on the road. And hells yeah, I'm kickin' it Canada style!

Toronto Raptors -4 (-105) Played better than I thought on Tuesday, hopefully there will be much more Calderon than Ford, more Moon/Kapono/Humphries than Bargnani. Toronto crowd must and will step up tonight.
(Don't love either of the other NBA matchups tonight. I don't think Cle. is good enough to sweep, but if just one of the Wiz starting three and two-thirds (Haywood and Stevenson are thirds, I'm counting Arenas as starter) gets hot, they could turn and hide like the Cavs in game 2. And Utah should win, but those 9 points are too frisky for me.)

Montreal Canadiens (-190) Rookie goalie on a magical Stanley Cup run? Sign me up and let me jump on board. Patrick Roy, take my ticket. Steve Penney, show me to my seat.

Toronto Blue Jays over 9 runs (+105) Nah, I don't like it or this game with the Rays. But I'll be pulling for it like it was Canada Day (July 1). I know my Canada - B- in my Canadian-American relations class in college. So there.

Now kick it Robin Sparkles!

Units: 1
Units to win: 1.98
Result: Winner!
Units +/- to date: 32.77

Wednesday (possibly Business Time)

I'm going to try 2 quick things today.

1. Two game parlay with 2 NBA dogs tonight (good gravy, not the Hawks):
Philadelphia +10-1/2 (-115)
Denver +8-1/2 (-115)
1 unit to win 2.50 - Fail. Wrong night to pick dogs.

2. Prop bets
a) Joe Johnson over 22 points (+130) 1 unit to win 1.3 units - Loss
b) Allen Iverson points and rebounds over 35 (-130) 1.3 units to win 1 - Win. Huzzah!
c) Marcus Camby over 12-1/2 rebounds (-120) 1.2 units to win 1 - Big win, one I would have loaded up on in Vegas/Caribbean

Units: 4.5
Units to win: 5.8
Results: Even Steven. Giddy-up.
Units +/- to date: 30.79

Aaah-waaaaaaah, oo-woah-oo-woah-woa-oh!

I don't know why, but I do. I like the "American Idol", what with the star making, and the faux controversies, and the results after the break, and the preparing of girls for Tony Romo to date. Mind you, I don't like the tryout stages, where half of it is filled with "look at me!" losers. Seriously, how did that many of America's late-teens/early 20's people get that sad and flamboyant? Of course, if you had these type of people trying out for the St. Louis Rams each summer, that would certainly liven up preseason.

And that's what "American Idol" is - football season for those who don't follow football. It lasts about as long, there are basically 16 or so games. I think the preseason blows, some people really get into it. If you suck, Jay Leno will weakly make fun of you in a "Tonight Show" monologue, e.g., Sanjaya or the Detroit Lions. Someone who can get to the final 8 of a talent search that has tens of thousands try out is considered a loser. People in the crowd make signs with FOX in them to get on TV. Ryan Seacrest is your Jim Nantz (Dunkelman is your Bryant Gumbel). Some of the most rabid fans are borderline insane. Offshoot industries are supported by the machine - Idol magazines, half the stuff on the TV Guide channel, the love affair with Entertainment Weekly.

Is there an AIFL? On a quick search, I've seen two - a and b. What I'm seeing out there is a lot where you make your own picks on who's advancing or being eliminated each week. Fine, I guess, kinda NCAA-bracketlike. But what I like about fantasy football or basketball is you've got a team, you stick with it. You pull for them or you make a trade or hit the waiver wire. I say do it this way: hold the draft right before Hollywood week, pick a certain amount of boys and girls, get points for making the final 12; get points for being declared safe, less points for bottom three but then safe, no points for elimination. Trading deadline is when the cutoff is made for the group that goes on the Idol tour that summer.

Anyway, there are six Idol contestants left. There are also six NBA teams in first round games tonight. There are 2 strong favorites in the competition, David Archuleta (8/11 favorite to win it all) and David Cook (13/10). Two teams tonight have 1-0 leads and looked really strong, New Orleans and Orlando. The two Davids will keep moving on, and the Hornets -4 and the Magic -6 are two of my picks tonight. (I also like the Hornets over 193.) I compare Jason Castro to the Suns +2 - funky enough to get things done, a real longshot to win the title, but will definitely make things interesting along the way. Plus, I see the Suns willing this one tonight - if Shaq's got anything left, it's gotta come out tonight.

I think the 3 ladies left will be the bottom 3 tomorrow. Syesha Mercado - she keeps trying to copy vocal powerhouses like Whitney and Mariah and coming off like a cheap knockoff. Hmm, that's kinda like Avery Johnson of the Mavs coaching style. Carly Smithson was an early favorite, already had a big deal, now looking to recapture glory after gaining US citizenship - just like Tim Duncan (both tattooed!). And I really like Brooke White, but she just doesn't have enough to win, sadly, like the Raptors whom I really like as well. Plus, I think Jose Calderon first came over to the US as an au pair.

As a bonus tonight, I like the 2 home teams in NHL game 7's, Washington -155 and San Jose -200. Home ice isn't the end all be all in pucks, but I think these teams' star players tip the balances in each of their favors, or favours as they write where Robin Sparkles comes from.

Units wagered: 1

Units to win: 31.78

Result: Loss

Units +/- to date: 30.79

The District

A few years ago on CBS, they had a show called, "The District", starring everyone's favorite Coach and future Mr. Incredible, Craig T. Nelson. It was about a tough-as-nails (as opposed to a tough-as-wood-epoxy) police commissioner of the District of Columbia. I don't know why I remembered this, as I probably saw about 17 seconds of it in its 4 seasons. But tonight I like the Washington squads that don't have racist mascots (unless mystical, D&D characters offend you). Plus, for some ungodly reason, I really liked "Coach" - oh Luther and Dauber, what crazy hijinks will you fall into this week?

I thought Saturday's Cavs-Wiz game was tighter than the final score indicated. Washington's shooting will be a skosh better tonight. This just smells to me like one of those games in a 7-game series where the road team steals one to make it 1-1, but then the other team will return the favor in the other barn.

And I have no basis whatsoever in this, but I think the Caps take the bus up to Philadelphia and even the series up 3-3, just to make Flyer fans sweat it out. Washington playoff hockey history is gruesome at best - what better way to treat your fans than to come back from a 3-1 deficit, then lose a multi-overtime, Bill Clement tie around the head game 7?

Part 3 has no ties to Washington; I guess there is a Utah Avenue in DC, but I suppose you could do that for any state/letter except J/number up to 49. After this weekend's whooping, how are the Rockets still favored over the Jazz? Still no Skip to my Lou, still the same ol' Tracy McGrady. Utah smells blood - they're going to slam this one early and often. This closes out my DC/Road Dog Monday parlay. If you can, grab the hoops games money line:

Washington Wizards (+105) (getting 2)

Washington Capitals (+125)

Utah Jazz (-105) (getting 1)

Units wagered: 1

Units to win: 8.00

Result: Loss

Units +/- to date: 31.79

Holy Crizzap!

Wow, 2 parlays in a row! I never lose! So for 8 parlays here, 5 have lost (1 by 1 point, 1 because the American public doesn't care if Idol is giving back) and 3 have come home: 6.28, 3.49, and 28.02. So right now, I'm up 32.79 units. So if I had a rich uncle and any sack and put down $100 on each parlay, I'd be up $3,279. Eat it, SPDR!

Today is a quick parlay for the NBA first round - I destroyed the first round last year, I'm on a path to do the same this year.

Toronto +6-1/2 (-110) O-town's not that much better than the Raptors
LA Lakers -8-1/2 (-110) I think Mamba's on a mission - he ain't messin' around.
Philadelphia +9-1/2 (-110) I just got a feeling Philly is going to keep hanging around all night; I just don't see them getting steamrolled.

Units wagered: 1
Units to win: 5.96
Result: Loss
Units +/- to date: 31.79